Log in


> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile

Saturday, November 25th, 2006
11:36 pm

Dear, dear husband-

We're both going through a rough time right now. I know this. And we haven't talked in far too long. I don't know what is going on in your head, and that makes this so much harder.

I miss you. Every single minute of every single hour of every single day, I miss you. Every time I think it just can't hurt worse that you are gone, I miss you more.

I wake up each morning alone in my bed. I fall asleep each night reaching out for you, and finding only Jack to cling to. He's a very cuddly bear, but he's just not you.

Six months is just too long.

I love you,

current mood: lonely

(1 comment | comment on this)

Saturday, July 22nd, 2006
7:36 pm

I'm not entirely sure this is where I should be posting this, however, I simply can't think of a better place. So here I go:

You've given me all that I could ever ask for, you've brought a certain happiness to my life that I never thought I would get. I've never felt better about myself, or my life, than I have since you've been with me.

Though many, many miles may seperate us, I still thank God, or whoever, that we found each other. It's almost surreal, but you exist, and we are one in the same. Without you, I simply am not me.

I thought that I had loved before, but I guess to truly know what love is... you must find it, and have it first. Now that I have it, I can begin to understand a little more about life, love, and better yet, myself.

If I could, I would go back in the past to fix a good deal of my mistakes... however, I would tell myself about you, because there is no mistaking being with you. I'm simply glad that you allowed me into your heart, because I let you into mine, before I or you, even knew it.

When things started out, I knew you were special somehow, but I would not have imagined things escalating to this level. Yet after just a weekend with you, I knew that you were that someone my heart had been searching for. The person whom I had dreamed about for so many years, the person I had been looking for all my life, yet not even knowing I was.

So I guess in short, all I can really say is that I love you, and that I will always love you, past forever. Thank you for returning that love.

Your's for forever,


current mood: loved

(2 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, January 26th, 2006
12:30 am


Well, let me give this a shot... something that had once been on my mind, still kind of is, and I want to be rid of it.  I figure that I post it here, then I'll leave it be.  That'll be it, nothing more, nothing less, just to forget...

You were my best friend, someone whom I could confide in, someone I trusted.  I loved you with all my heart, and showed you nothing but my love.

Through it all, you shot it down.  You betrayed my love, and most of all, crushed my heart.  I almost shut myself out because of you.  If you could do this to me, my most trusted friend, what could someone else do?  I simply didn't want to be hurt like this again.

However, I stayed strong, I did not shut myself out.  Hopefully you'll be happy to know that because I didn't, I am now probably the happiest person alive.  I've finally met someone whom I can truly confide in, and I know will not crush my tender healing heart in her grasp.

Hopefully for your sake, the decision you made came out the way you wanted.  And hopefully you didn't just make a rash decision, and now regret it.  I can only accept what you decided, I will not try to change your mind.  This is my last token of appreciation for you, now my heart belongs to another.  I can best wrap up with the title of a movie, that would most express how I feel about the situation...

"Good Night, and Good Luck."



current mood: hopeful

(comment on this)

Thursday, December 29th, 2005
4:38 pm

People talk about things being inevitable. I've never like that. It just sounds somehow so negative.
We are not inevitable. I prefer to think of us as ... eventual. Eventually, you and I will be together. I know it in my heart.
Eventually yours,

current mood: Mushy.

(comment on this)

Sunday, December 25th, 2005
9:45 pm

Dear Smiley,
It's Christmas day, and I'm thinking of you. I do it pretty much every day. There is a hole in my life you used to fill and it just isn't the same without you.
I remember being on the couch with you last year, when you fell asleep. Your dad and I exchanged glances over you, and I felt welcomed to your family. I miss them, too. I wonder sometimes how your sisters are doing with school, how your dad and step-mom are. Even how your mom is.
I kept the monkey that I gave you, the one you gave back. I named it after you. I find myself reaching for it in the night the way I used to reach for you. I dreamt about you last night, about hearing your voice. One of our friends had called you, and I was listening in. I wasn't trying to listen to what you were saying, just wanting to hear your voice.
I don't really miss being your girlfriend, strange though it sounds. I just miss having you in my life. I miss your humor. Your openness. Your childlike wonder. I remember playing in puddles with you last year, and that's the kind of things I miss. I miss your hugs. I miss your jokes. I just miss all the things that make you you.

(comment on this)

> top of page